WHAT I KNOW

One and one is two.

A glass of lemonade, pink or yellow, is, hands down, the best tasting stuff in the galaxy.

Bill Murray's work in Lost in Translation is overrated.

Bill Murray's work in Stripes, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Mad Dog and Glory, Rushmore, Scrooged and Meatballs is way, way, way underrated.

Saying Bill Murray is underrated is now overrated.

The Jesuits who tried to convert the Japanese all those many moons ago believed that the Japanese language was created by the devil in order to thwart their efforts -- and I tend to agree with them.

The Japanese language is very, very, cool.

The last line of Robert Redford's The Candidate is probably the greatest final line in movie history.

The first line of John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany is probably the greatest first line in literary history (according to me.)

People are good.

People are bad.

People are neither good nor bad, but driven to either by those around them.

Running is the equivalent of that old line about the guy finding his friend bashing his thumb in with a hammer, and, when asked why he does it, answers: "Because it feels so good when I stop."

Winning a race does wonders for your self-esteem and sense of place in the universe.

Losing a race you're supposed to win blows. (But it's true, I know, you learn more in losing than you do in winning.)

I haven't won a race in thirteen years.

I haven't eaten chocolate since lunch.

People living in Ontario don't think of themselves as 'Ontarians'.

People living in Alaska sometimes think of themselves as 'Alaskans'.

There is no such thing as 'Asia' -- just Japan, and Cambodia, and China, and Burma, and...

The last episodes of Family Ties, Cheers and Newhart ended perfectly.

The last episode of The Waltons was unseen by me. (And will, God willing, remain so.)

Life gets really, really harder the older you get, physically and emotionally.

Getting older is much, much better than the alternative. (Which is death.)

That lady who they've pulled the fluids out of the in the States should be allowed to live, because there's no written, legal proof that she said she didn't want to live if she were ever in such a state, only the statements of her husband, and besides, starving someone is not the way to go.

Watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off at twenty-nine, as opposed to fifteen, is a revelation -- what was once mini-James Bond heroics now comes across as a tender, somewhat innocent look at teenage idealism.

Watching The Battleship Potemkin at seven on a Wednesday morning in your film theory class is never, ever recommended.

A pink and orange sunset can't be beat.

The mysteries of the universe will never be explained to me. (Or you, for that matter).

We should keep on asking the universe to account for itself, even though it won't answer.

Dr.Phil should not be trusted.

Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen should not be trusted.

Smiling and being polite will get you everywhere in life.

Asking other people really interesting questions about their life, even though you're not really interested, will not only allow you to get to know them better, but will also open a new way of approaching your life on this earth that can only lead to greater and great avenues of enlightenment.

Random email inquiries when looking for a job are highly, highly recommended.

Existenialism is the only rational way of looking at life -- but it gets awfully depressing after awhile.

The final few seasons of Who's The Boss, when Tony and Angela finally got it on, got awfully depressing after awhile.

The smell of freshly baked cookies is proof, if not of God, at least of the possibility of one of His descendants still walking among us.

Boxing is cruel, barbaric, idiotic, and a truly humane, wonderful endeavor, life in a microcosm, life distilled.

People in Canada and America, for the most part, have no real grasp of what utterly abysmal conditions most people in the world live in.

Poor people are usually, almost always, nicer than rich people.

Poor people do not necessarily resent rich people; they just want a piece of the pie, too.

Books are one of the Platonic forms that, um, Plato talked about.

Alexander is actually a great movie, advanced, ahead of its time. (I'm serious.)

No one else will believe that Alexander is actually a great movie, advanced, ahead of its time.

Fifty is the new forty, and six is the new eight months.

Humor is hard (see above).

Roberto Benigini is really, really funny.

Gilbert Gottfried is really, really, really funny.

Nobody watches Canadian dramas.

Everything is relative, including knowledge (but the human heart isn't, hence its eccentric, elusive tastes...)