Monday, March 05, 2007

SOME RATHER HIGHBROW INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENTS

Here's a thought. What would happen if everybody in the entire world sneezed at one and the same time? One giant, hacking honk of a sneeze. Everyone. At once. Would the sound be deafening? Would the velocity and volume of such a sneeze shatter our eardrums, or would we only hear the sneezes that were in our direct vicinity? ("Sneeze globally, hear locally.")

This is something I've been wondering about since I was a kid. Does sound travel like light travels? Would it not matter one little bit if everybody sneezed in unison? Would it be the same as me sneezing in one room and somebody else sneezing in another?

Oh, and one other thing. There was something in the news recently about a little girl who couldn't stop hiccuping for a good three or four weeks. Sixty times a minute. All day long. The only rest she had was when she slept. Until finally, one day, for no reason, zilch. Nada. Not a hiccup to be heard.

But hiccups don't actually produce anything, right?

Sneezing, however, usually results in at least a little bit of snot. Nose mucus. Whatever you want to call it.

So what would happen if you sneezed, constantly, every minute, every hour? Would your body run out of snot? Think about it. There's got to be like a finite supply of the green stuff in our bodies. Would we end up sneezing blood? Could you literally sneeze all the blood right out of your body?

University educated. UN experience. Lived in four different countries.

And this is what keeps me up at night.